The term “soaking” might conjure up images of a calming bath, but in the realm of TikTok and particularly MomTok, it refers to a unique sexual act often linked with Mormons. On the show “The Secret Lives Of Mormon Wives,” discussions about intimate lives, including soaking, are frequent. With the second season approaching, these topics are likely to resurface.
Soaking is essentially penetrative sex without any movement. One partner inserts their penis into the other’s vagina and remains still. Erica Smith, a Philadelphia-based sex educator, explains that this lack of motion differentiates soaking from traditional intercourse. Gigi Engle, a London-based sex therapist, notes that soaking is seen as a loophole allowing participants to maintain their virginity according to religious beliefs.
Taylor Frankie Paul, a star of the show, confirmed on The Viall Files podcast that soaking does occur in the LDS community, although it’s not representative of all Mormons. She suggests that people may resort to soaking to navigate the natural desire for intimacy while adhering to religious teachings that promote abstinence until marriage.
Despite its viral presence, soaking isn’t as widespread among young Latter-Day Saints as media might suggest. Chelom Leavitt, a sex researcher at Brigham Young University, believes it’s more rumor than reality, as it contradicts core Mormon values. LDS teachings emphasize sex within marriage as a divine connection, not something to be circumvented through technicalities.
Soaking involves no movement from the participants, but some claim a third person, known as a “jump-humper,” might create motion by jumping on the bed. However, this aspect is met with skepticism even within the Mormon community.
If soaking is considered to avoid “sinning,” it’s crucial to understand the motivations behind this choice. Engaging with a sex-positive educator can help navigate any shame or confusion. Other pleasurable activities like manual sex, dry humping, and oral sex are alternatives that don’t involve penetration.
The concept of soaking gained traction through viral TikTok videos and shows like “Jury Duty” and “The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives.” Yet, it remains largely a myth among Latter-Day Saints, according to Leavitt.
Soaking poses similar STI risks as other penetrative acts. Engle advises using protection like condoms to prevent STIs and unwanted pregnancies. The pull-out method is not foolproof, and precum can contain sperm, increasing pregnancy risk.
Beyond physical risks, soaking might lead to shame, especially if motivated by religious beliefs. This shame can impact mental health, contributing to anxiety and depression. Leavitt emphasizes that LDS teachings encourage a positive view of sexuality within marriage, not through loopholes.
For those concerned about virginity, it’s worth noting that definitions vary. Many consider virginity lost with penetrative intercourse, but others include oral or manual sex. Engle argues that the concept of virginity is a social construct, often used to control women and reinforce heteronormative views.
Smith suggests exploring sex education resources to better understand personal values around sex and intimacy. Books like “The Purity Myth” by Jessica Valenti and “Pure” by Linda Kay Klein are recommended starting points.
In summary, While soaking is not the loophole it might appear to be, it can be an intimate experience if approached openly and safely.